Bumming all of a sudden over fake dessert

I was enjoying my late-night cup of Silk soy milk and a couple spoonfuls of chunky peanut butter---if you a cry a little bit, it all tastes like ice cream---when I read a surprising headline:

"Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Shriver Announce Separation."

I'm bummed to hear this. As someone with divorced parents who remain single, I'm always flabbergasted when I hear about the separations of longtime couples. Schwarzenegger and Shriver have been married for almost thirty years; why break up now? Is everything in the marriage really going that poorly? Anyway, I directed a full blog post to Political Subversities, click the link to read it in full.

All right, off to finish my milk. Maybe I'll also finish Ratatouille, which I've never seen and have been watching intermittently throughout the night.

What I want to be when I grow up

My friend Ryann said recently, "Dear Tina Fey, I appreciate what you've done for women in comedy, but why did you have to do it first?" That's kind of how I feel about this new Judd Apatow movie, Bridesmaids.

From age seven through age twelve, becoming a cast member on Saturday Night Live was all part of my career plan. Right after I graduated magna cum laude from Harvard University and won a Best Supporting Actress Oscar playing opposite Tom Hanks (as my father). That's right, I was going to win an Oscar before landing a spot on SNL. Special, no?

Then I learned that you had to be a superstar at Second City or the Groundlings or whatever in order to even be considered to audition for SNL. Then I didn't even come close to getting Harvard-worthy grades in high school. I also didn't get cast in my school's production of Little Shop of Horrors, which pushed my Tom Hanks dreams even further away. And it all went to shit.

It really didn't all go to shit, but now I've meandered away from my point: Bridesmaids looks awesome, and I'd do anything to be on that poster next to Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph and Ellie Kemper. I remember confessing to my freshman year acting teacher that I feared women weren't funny; I am a woman, and therefore I must not be funny. This teacher told me to get it together and shut up about that. I'm glad she did---I was talking bullshit. These Bridesmaids women are funny. (They also happen to be beautiful and skinny, but that's another blog post.) And lucky for me, the women in my immediate working circle, those of Political Subversities and, until yesterday, The First Ladies Project, are indeed the most hilarious and smart women I've ever worked with. If I keep writing and performing with them, I imagine Bridesmaids 2 will someday present itself.

Or, you know, something original. Bridesmaids 2 already sounds like it'll be bad.

What's that line from My Fair Lady about "life, something? It's quite a life?" Am I just thinking of It's a Wonderful Life?

I'm blogging so early in the morning because my sketch group, Political Subversities, is performing at Poly Prep County Day School in south Brooklyn today. We're performing a PG-rated version of our show for fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth graders, and I'm psyched. I never would have thought our show could be tailored for children and young adults, but I'm extremely proud of the work we've done to make it so, and I think the kids are gonna love it!

So with this half cup of coffee and very full bowl of Raisin Bran inside me, I gotta say, in order to a) affirm the universe, b) make the Gods understand that I am grateful and c) to keep myself awake, it's a good life I lead. After the performance today, I go straight to rehearsal for The First Ladies Project and work on a play with some of the smartest, funniest and toughest ladies I've ever worked with. And you say, "Why, Kim, you could take a nap after that!"

Why no, I can't take a nap today, I'd respond to you. After rehearsal, I have but an hour to go home and change before I head back out for an audition I've been looking forward to all week. And you say, "Why Kim, you could take a nap after that!"

Why no, I'd respond to you, for after that audition I simply don't have time to go home and sleep. I gotta attend my dear friend James Monaco's one-man show, Do You Like That Man? at the Tank.

Oh, wait. Maybe I do have enough time before the show for a nap. Hmmm. I'll think about that.

Anyway, really, it's just not a day to be tired, because I have so many awesome things to devour on my plate. And I might just have time for a nap anyway.

Political Subversities Plays Joe's Pub Sept. 3 - Playbill.com

Political Subversities Plays Joe's Pub Sept. 3 - Playbill.com

So fabulous. Tomorrow's going to be a big night. Concerns:

1) What will I WEAR??
2) How will I wear my HAIR??
3) I hope people come.