Wednesday, September 8, 2010

A hard day at the office. And by office, I mean Brangelina's private plane.

Monthly rent: $610. Subway card: $89. Electricity/gas: $25. Internet: $16. Laundry: $12.

This morning, the weekly conversation I have with my roommates about how we might make a little more money in our lives turned to the topic of personal assistant jobs. We began imagining being the personal assistant of someone fabulous, what our jobs might be if we waited on Angelina Jolie, hand and foot. "Oh, I can't go to the park today, I'm going to Pakistan this afternoon with Angie. God, I hope Z doesn't cry on the flight! That girl hates planes."

Or what would it be like to be Lady Gaga's personal assistant? "Oh, Gaga will not stop texting me to pick up her custom-made feather snake hat at Marc Jacobs's apartment. I can't believe I forgot to go over there again. Must go before the Norway trip."

Or Paris Hilton? "I have to go shopping with Paris tomorrow afternoon. I hold all of her cocaine while she browses the meth."

Or Martha Stewart? "Terrifying."

Or Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick? One of my roommates said, "I'd do anything to nanny for them. If I hang around Prospect Park long enough, one of them is bound to jog by in a Lululemon spandex short."

Then what? Chase them down? Waaaaaait! Come back! Here are my resume and references!!

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