Saturday, April 30, 2011

An amazing evening at my show

Tonight was one of those wonderful nights during which you feel so much joy and fortune and support and love. We had the best show of The First Ladies Project thus far, and the audience was packed with former teachers, best friends, roommates and family members. The show seemed to flow flawlessly, everything fell into place as it should have. Cues were called beautifully, scenes transitioned effortlessly, and the audience was so attentive, giving us so much energy and laughter.

I feel like the girls and I touched a lot of people tonight. What a humbling feeling. I'm giddy that so many people have come to see our show, put their trust in us and went along with us for the ride. I'm overjoyed that it has seemingly made an impact on people I respect. I hope that this weekend isn't the end of the show. I know there's a place for Edith Wilson in this goddamn play; next time, I'm not going to let it be a play without her.

It's a happy night. Signing off.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Re: the Royal Wedding

Do British people find British accents sexy? If not, which accents do they find sexy?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Queen of the May & Her Harvest Kings: An Evening of Competition

I'm extremely excited to check out The Queen of the May & Her Harvest Kings: An Evening of Competition next Tuesday night at Galapagos Art Space. It's the shared brainchild of two of my best friends, Evan Watkins and Andrew Farmer, and countless other people I know and love are performing in it. Also, how beautiful is their postcard image? It was designed by Bowen Yang, a star of the NYU improv troupe, Dangerbox.

Evan once told me that it makes him so happy to see his friends do what they do best. This is exactly how I feel about this project. I can't wait to see what he and Andrew have created together. That sounds sexy. Looking forward to seeing you next Tuesday night at 8pm for The Queen of the May at Galapagos!

Who cares about the Royal Wedding? I made an effort to...

...based on the following interactive Middleton-Windsor family tree, which you can find on CNN's Royal Wedding Extravaganza page:

Clearly, CNN put more effort into compiling Prince William's side of the tree, but no matter. The following link will take you to the Political Subversities blog: The Royal Wedding, and little kids with big names

Meeting one of my own over Mentos

I worked a double today at my restaurant job in order to get time off for The First Ladies Project (which is about to start its second weekend of shows!), the second one in a row. I am totally anti-double and almost never deign to work them, but I had to do what I had to do. Needless to say, my feet feel like they have been run over by a Mack Truck. By the end of my shift tonight, I would have paid money to be able to sit down. Finally, it was time to clock out.

After hobbling to the subway station, I uncomfortably shifted my weight on the train platform. The only thing that will make me feel a little better about life is a candy, I thought. Thankfully, the 51st street subway station has an all-hours mini bodega inside of it. Ah, the twenty-four hour bodega. Really, it's the little things that count.

I limped to the excruciatingly lit, severely small cubicle, where a petite Indian girl sat behind the counter. I surveyed the candy options. Did I want a chocolate, or a Sour Patch Kid? I typically go for the Sour Patch Cherries, which seem to only be available for purchase in subway bodegas. I've never seen them anywhere else. They're special to me in this way. And always an even $1. Candy at Rite Aid is never this convenient.

Ah, what the hell. Why not go for a candy masquerading as a breath refresher? I reached for the fruit Mentos, and as I did so, the petite Indian girl peered over the counter. "Hey," she said. "Do you have a nail biting habit?"

I froze. This is the question I fear most. No other sequence of words in the English language make me feel as vulnerable, disgusting, immature and self-loathing, all at once. I am a nail-biter. A really bad one. I have bitten my nails for as long as I can remember. And by bite, I mean knaw, ravage, rip apart and tear out. My nails are a shocking sight to anyone but myself, but I've become so sly at hiding them during everyday activities that people barely notice. (Or at least, that's my understanding thus far.) Friends who have known me for ten years have said, "Oh, you bite your nails? I didn't know that." Yeah, it's because I've become a star at hiding them from you. Oh, and I think your brother is hot.

The Indian girl looked at me with big eyes.

Clenching my fists and digging the tips of my fingers into my palms, I laughed, "Yes. They're terrible, aren't they?"

The girl smiled. "Mine used to look just like yours," she replied. I hesitated. I've never seen anyone's nails look as savagely ripped to shreds apart as my own.

Extending her fingers in front of me, she continued, "But I stopped biting them a month ago. I've started to paint them!" I leaned in. They looked pretty good. They were definitely still considered short nails, but they were smooth and curved at the edges.

"You've only been growing them out one month?" I asked. "How did you stop?"

She retracted her hands. "I just stopped putting them in my mouth," she said. "And you know what else? I said to myself one day, 'You deserve to look pretty.' So many times I looked down at my hands and thought, 'Are these a girl's hands?' And I decided I can be pretty. I started with my nails. Next is my tummy!"

We laughed together, and I heard the rush of the train outside our tiny bodega. I handed her a dollar bill. "It was nice talking to you," I said. "Inspiring." She smiled, and as I turned from her to stagger to the train, I felt oddly proud. It reassured me to know that all anything takes is one choice, one moment in which you say, "I deserve this." If you feel like you deserve it enough, you'll make it happen for yourself. After being a nail-biter for twenty-three years, what would my life be like if I had these keratin tools at the tips of my fingers? I'm curious. I wish I were curious enough. I'm not sure that I am.


Friday, April 22, 2011

A guy with a moustache

I know a guy with a moustache.

He's 5'10" but seems taller. He's nearing his mid-fifties, but doesn't have a gray hair on his head. The blue in his eyes has faded over the years, but the clearness and kindness remain. Pink cheeks make him look youthful. Sometimes he says, "I'm not a white male, I'm a peach male." He used to have a beard, but when I was four, I helped him shave it over the bathroom sink.

A bachelor, he loves his 52" television and afternoon scotch on the rocks. If he's not stretched out on the living room watching the NBC Nightly News, you can find him on the patio, where he's put his feet up on the table. He likes to listen to the pool. Sometimes, he convinces us to eat dinner out there. "It's too cold," I complain, even though it's never that cold because it's Florida.

He has a lot of love in his heart but the women have come and gone. If he's lonely, ever, he doesn't show it. Sipping his scotch on the rocks, he smiles from his spot on the couch. His pink cheeks brighten and he says, "All I can wish is for my children to be healthy." I want to be as optimistic and content as him, someday. I hope he ends up with a nice woman. When your parents are divorced and still single, sometimes you wonder why they don't just get back together. Sure, it would be hellfire on earth but at least they'd have some company, have someone to go to movies with. You wouldn't have to worry about them feeling lonesome.

I know a guy with a moustache, and he's one of the good guys. Tonight as we feasted over calamari in the East Village, I thought about how much I like having him around. I'd like to be more like him as the days progress. I hope he knows that. I mean, he should. I wrote it in his Father's Day card.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

The First Ladies Project opens!

So excited for everyone to see this show! It's been an amazing few months working on this project with some amazing, inspirational, talented women. I'm talking about my fellow actor-creators and our darling First Ladies. I'm so proud of what we've made. "It's a fun good play," as Ryann Weir, another woman in the company, says. I think it's a fun good play. I'm 100% sure audience members will have a good time. I'm 98% sure you'll take away some information about a First Lady you have never heard of.

Hope you can make it.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Dear Michelle Obama

Dear Michelle Obama,

Did you ever worry that you'd never be a successful lawyer? Or whatever you dreamed of being in your wildest dreams back in the day? Sometimes when I'm waiting tables and spilling horseradish on myself and scraping people's half-eaten prime rib into a trash can I have to hope to God that I'm not going to be doing this when I'm thirty. And that I'll actually someday be doing what I want to be doing. Did you ever feel like you were lost and completely hidden from view?

Also, when did you stop comparing yourself to other women? Or do you still do that? What's your greatest insecurity about yourself? You don't have to answer that, actually. You can keep it private if you like.

Thinking of you,
Kim Blanck

PS: I'm part of the First Ladies Project, if you're free to come by this week, or next. I can get you a comp ticket.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The First Ladies Project is nearing

I'm so psyched. With every rehearsal, The First Ladies Project is getting closer and closer to what it should be.

We also made our goal on IndieGoGo! But by no means stop contributing. The more wigs, the merrier; am I right? :) I'm so honored and humbled by everyone who has contributed to our show. Thank you, thank you, thank you, and see you next Thursday night!

Unanswered questions

Some questions I wish I knew the answer to. Sometimes, you just have to ask them out loud.

1. What is my sister going to be when she grows up?

2. Why did I eat so much of that brownie tonight?

3. Will I ever get to a place in my life when I don't have to worry about rent?

4. Will I ever get to a place in my life when I have actually saved some money?

5. Why are you a douchebag?

6. Am I the best big sister I can be?

7. Are people going to love this play?

8. Are they going to hate it?

9. Why do I have a little bit of a moustache?

10. If I drank more milk when I was a kid, would I be taller?

11. Why do unavailable guys flirt with me?

12. Why is Adobe Photoshop so expensive?

13. Am I going to file my taxes wrong and then get hunted down by the IRS?

14. When am I going to be harder on myself?

15. When am I going to join a gym?


Friday, April 8, 2011

What's that line from My Fair Lady about "life, something? It's quite a life?" Am I just thinking of It's a Wonderful Life?

I'm blogging so early in the morning because my sketch group, Political Subversities, is performing at Poly Prep County Day School in south Brooklyn today. We're performing a PG-rated version of our show for fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth graders, and I'm psyched. I never would have thought our show could be tailored for children and young adults, but I'm extremely proud of the work we've done to make it so, and I think the kids are gonna love it!

So with this half cup of coffee and very full bowl of Raisin Bran inside me, I gotta say, in order to a) affirm the universe, b) make the Gods understand that I am grateful and c) to keep myself awake, it's a good life I lead. After the performance today, I go straight to rehearsal for The First Ladies Project and work on a play with some of the smartest, funniest and toughest ladies I've ever worked with. And you say, "Why, Kim, you could take a nap after that!"

Why no, I can't take a nap today, I'd respond to you. After rehearsal, I have but an hour to go home and change before I head back out for an audition I've been looking forward to all week. And you say, "Why Kim, you could take a nap after that!"

Why no, I'd respond to you, for after that audition I simply don't have time to go home and sleep. I gotta attend my dear friend James Monaco's one-man show, Do You Like That Man? at the Tank.

Oh, wait. Maybe I do have enough time before the show for a nap. Hmmm. I'll think about that.

Anyway, really, it's just not a day to be tired, because I have so many awesome things to devour on my plate. And I might just have time for a nap anyway.